Tartan Sports Editor remains in fantasy football cellar

Credit: Courtesy of Dora Grande via Flickr Wikimedia Commons Credit: Courtesy of Dora Grande via Flickr Wikimedia Commons

Welcome back to another week of imaginary football! It is I, Nora Mattson, News Editor, here to recap what has happened this past week. Why, you may ask? Because I lost, okay?!?! It’s rude to ask things like that. I also would like to add that five of my players were on a Bye Week, which I got explained to me and I now want to take one for myself. I did pretty well in these matches during the beginning of the season, which meant that I got weirdly invested in my team full of autodrafted players I had never heard of. I’m going to funnel my sadness at losing into a biting recap that will make all of my colleagues (who I adore immensely) regret stepping near me on the football pitch. I hope that in coming weeks, my boys will bring it all to the fake court, and I will not have to learn any more about football than I know now.

The league is nice and stable, with no teams changing position this week. Last Manning Standing, lead by our Publisher and CEO Caleb Miller himself, is still at the top, which I think is sexist. Gin and Bear It, the team managed by our Sports Editor Marika Yang, is at the bottom for like the millionth consecutive week, which I think means that she is now demoted to Assistant Sports Editor. Not to pass judgment or anything, but if we did a fantasy news league I would probably win every week.

michelle123 over newz, 101.86 to 70.90

Pillbox Editor Michelle Madlansacay’s team, mmichelle123, resoundingly trounced my team, newz. This feat was doubly impressive, as I was projected to win at the beginning of the week and held a slight lead until Sunday night, when she came back with a vengeance. She ended up beating me by more than 30 points, but we both kept our positions in the league, Madlansacay’s team at seventh place and me and fourth.

Madlansacay’s top scorer was Kirk Cousins, quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings, who passed for 359 yards, scoring two touchdowns and earning her more than 20 points. Antonio Brown, the Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver, earned her more than 19 points as he also scored two touchdowns. While I am bummed this had to contribute to my downfall, I am always vaguely glad when a Pittsburgh team does well!

I really messed up this week, starting players who contributed no points which I guess shows a flaw in my hands-off managerial approach. Atlanta Falcons running back Tevin Coleman was on a Bye Week, and Denver Broncos quarterback Royce Freeman hurt his ankle. And Rob Gronkowski, the only player on my team whose name I recognized, only caught three out of eight targets.

GOAT but Ironically over futbol 121.22 to 91.76

After beating me handily last week, Visual Editor Tracy Le’s team lost to Assistant Pillbox Editor Izzy Sio’s team GOAT but Ironically this week. My own margin of loss beats out Le’s this week by a hair to win the title of worst loss this week. This week’s loss, however, was not enough to unseat Le from her ranking at second place, or move up Sio from third, though Sio scored the most points in the league this week and continues to trend upwards after a slow start to the season.

Sio had a week with a lot of high scorers. Three players led her team: Los Angeles Rams running back Todd Gurley, Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes, and Seattle Seahawks running back Chris Carson, who collectively scored 71.92 of Sio’s winning 121.22 points. Gurley scored almost 30 of those points, as he recorded 114 rushing yards, 81 receiving yards, and one receiving touchdown.

Quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, Andrew Luck, lived up to his name and luckily scored 23.36 points for Le. Jacksonville Jaguars running back TJ Yeldon, though scoring Le only nine points this week, played efficiently, as he was rarely passed to but got a lot of yards in. Sio will go on next week to play the top-ranked Last Manning Standing, while Le will play the fifth-ranked Slugs.

Last Manning Standing over Slugs 106.64 to 94.74

This week threw some salt on Operations Manager Adam Tunnard’s team, Slugs, as he had to face top-ranked team Last Manning Standing, run by Publisher Caleb Miller. Slugs actually was projected to win towards the middle of the week, but a late round of heavy scoring from Miller’s team meant that he won comfortably.

Miller’s scoring was led by quarterback Carson Wentz of the Eagles, who has proved to be a good pick, leading Miller’s team in scoring week after week.

Slugs, Tunnard’s team had a rough week, starting running back Melvin Gordon of the Jaguars who earned him zero points. This loss for was not enough to change Tunnard’s fifth seated ranking, and there was nowhere else for Miller to climb in the rankings, as he is still in a comfortable first place. Next week, Slugs is scheduled to go head to head with Le’s futbol, and Last Manning Standing will take on Sio’s GOAT but Ironically.

Gin and Bear It over TARTAN FANTASY 83.00 to 79.46

Finally, our Sports Editor, Marika Yang, catches a break when her team, Gin and Bear It beat out Photo Editor Lisa Qian’s TARTAN FANTASY. Qian bested Yang in the first week tournament, but Yang was able to pay her back in kind with this win. Yang stayed at eighth place and Qian at sixth.

In the closest match of the week, Yang pulled ahead by a nose on Sunday night when Gurley caught a two point conversion from Rams quaterback Jared Goff. Goff continues to be valuable for Yang, winning her an impressive 26.50 points.

Qian, however, had the second highest scorer in the league with Deshaun Watson, quarterback of the Houston Texans winning her almost a third of her total, with five touchdowns and 30.96 points. However, she had two team members, Ezekiel Elliott of the Dallas Cowboys and Matt Bryant of the Atlanta Hawks, earning her no points. Next week, Qian will face off against me next week, and Yang will take on my opponent from this week, Madlansacay’s mmichelle123.