Advice for awkward people

Dear Evan,

I love Idris Elba more than any other actor ever. He’s just been getting more and more attention for his work recently, and Luther has got to be one of the best, most intense series of all time.

There’s been a lot of hype for a while now about who the next James Bond is going to be, and Idris is number one on a lot of people’s list to take over that timeless role — myself included, of course. He’s just too perfect for it: buff, tall, menacing but also suave, gorgeous, and English. Plus, it would be so great to have a black James Bond. And Pierce Brosnan thinks Idris would be a great Bond!

What do you think the chances are of Idris getting the slot?

Can’t Let Anyone Steal his Show, Yelling For Action, Need to Get Idris Running Lengths (of trains)


You’re not the only one: Since at least 2011, nearly everyone who cares about the Bond franchise wants Idrissa Akuna “Idris” Elba — best known as the star corrupt cop on Luther, the savvy drug kingpin on The Wire, and Nelson Mandela in that biopic no one saw — to be the next beloved 007. Heck, even Sony wants him, if Sony co-chairman Amy Pascal’s leaked emails from the notorious hack are any indication (which, I mean, how much more clear can you be?)

Naysayers do exist, however. Idris is black, and Rush Limbaugh doesn’t seem to like that, but he doesn’t appear to like anything that might dent the white patriarchy — well, really, he doesn’t seem to like much of anything or anyone with post-Civil War ideologies. Esquire gave Idris a snub, too, when their list of possible new Bond actors saw him conspicuously excluded.

Well, Esquire, you can take back your Christian Bale and Jon Hamm (not even remotely European, Esquire! Get it together). All we want is Idris.

That said, TJ Ramini would make a great Bond as well, but no one knows who he is — he had a brief role as “Crane Thug No. 1” in Batman Begins, so I guess that’s a start.

You have good taste,
Evan Kahn

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