Everything you need to know
I have a problem. As of today, I have never had a real girlfriend. You know, someone who I actually took places and we would hold hands — mushy stuff like that. And now, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed seeing a lot of my friends in committed relationships. Is it okay that I’m 19 and have never had a real girlfriend? What can I do to rid myself of that fear of being alone forever? Help!
—Scared and Dateless
Dear Dateless Darling,
It sounds lame, but everything happens for a reason. It may seem like there are oh-so-many people with significant others frolicking all over campus, grossing out the typical passerby, but that doesn’t mean everyone is kickin’ it with someone special. You’re in college now, and I think the most important part of college is learning about yourself. You’ll be able to know what you want and what you don’t, what turns you off and what gets you... excited. Life is too short — and if the right girl is around, you two will find each other.
Regarding fear of loneliness that lasts forever, don’t worry. Things tend to work themselves out. Just remember that life can change in a moment and you never know when that moment will hit you.
I’m still waiting.
I’ve never been the person who approaches a girl to ask her out. In fact, I’ve only done it once and only after some serious seesawing with myself. However, I have found myself in a position where I really like someone. The only hang-up is that she’s a junior and I myself am a lowly first-year. How can I get past that sinking feeling of inferiority and, at the same time, confront my fear of actually trying to ask a girl out?
—Pretty Passive Person
Dear P to the third power,
My most sincere advice would be to pick up some courage and just ask her out. Seriously! How can you expect to get what you want if you don’t go for it? Think of it like this: Things could always go really wrong. But you’ll never know how horrible everything will go until you dip that toe into the pool of love, or whatever it is that you are dipping into.
As for the older woman, who knows if your lady isn’t the cougar type? She could like a younger man, assuming you’ve completed puberty. More importantly, two years may seem like a lot of time now, but it’s not much at all. I can think of plenty of couples, mostly of the celebrity persuasion, that have up to 15-year gaps in age.
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