% Movie

Dirty Pretty Things
(Wednesday, 8, 10, and 12)

Audrey ?Am?lie? Tautou has to work in a London hotel to earn enough money to make it to America. The plot thickens, however, as she discovers a human heart blocking a toilet and begins to get in over her head. I dunno: when I think of ?dirty pretty things?, I think of the cheese and mustard trays that Catering Services makes.

Last Tango in Paris
(Thursday, 7, 10, and 1)

This light-hearted documentary about cartoonist Robert Crumb focuses on a perennial favorite theme for CMU students: sex! The man is a highly countercultural underground artist who rebels against the sterilized society of the 1950s; the film is mostly a series of interviews...zzzzz.

Something?s Gotta Give
(Friday, 10, and 12:30)

Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton gettin? it on? Eww! Jack Nicholson competing with Keanu Reeves to get it on with Diane Keaton? Double eww! This is a chick flick in the worst sense ? it has horrible acting, a predictable script, and enough sap that no self-respecting guy would ever want to see it. That is, unless your significant other wants to see it, too. Speaking of gettin? it on...

(Saturday, 8, 10, and 12)

Halle Berry is a psychiatrist at an institution for the mentally ill until one day when she narrowly escapes her own demise only to wake up as a patient in the same institution. It?s a standard-issue psychothriller with a few nice moments of suspense to give you your dollar?s worth.

The Hunger
(Sunday, 8, 10, and 12)

It?s a 1980s vampire movie with a star-studded cast and a horribly clich?d plot! Hooray! Catherine Deneuve drinks the blood of her lovers to stay alive, while David Bowie is about to die and Susan Sarandon wants to go girl-on-girl with Deneuve.