Dinah Winnick

Class of


  • Horoscopes

    ARIES (March 21 ? April 19): No amount of animal-rights activism now will alleviate your guilt over a childhood of ditch-digging and recreational large game hunting.

    Comics | October 4, 2004
  • Horoscopes - 9/19/04

    Aries (March 21 ? April 19): Your grandparents will call Tuesday evening to inquire about your health, current marital/procreative timeline, and religious observance, and to give you their love and support (especially in the marital/procreative arena).

    Comics | September 20, 2004
  • horoscopes

    By Dinah Winnick

    ARIES (March 21 – April 19): A horrible near-death experience will lead you to reconsider life as a mediocre magician and ponder your true internal desires, dreams, and goals. Unfortunately you will still have to get out of the straight jacket, the chains, the steel chest, swim to the surface, and flag down a rescue vehicle to take you to shore.

    Comics | September 13, 2004
  • Horoscopes

    ARIES (March 21 ? April 19): The flip-flops you plan on wearing tomorrow show your endearing optimism. The short shorts show a bit too much leg.

    Comics | March 29, 2004
  • Horoscopes

    ARIES (March 21 ? April 19): Thursday night, you will suddenly remember to call your grandparents when the guilt they've been channeling to you all week finally makes it across the two time zones separating you.

    Comics | March 22, 2004