'Let's cut the shit alright?': U.S. Military to Begin Operating Directly on CMU Campus

Carnegie Mellon, like any STEM school, deals with frequent accusations of supporting a "school to DOD pipeline" — implying, of course, that the main purpose of the world-class education we receive is solely to prepare us for jobs in the military or arms manufacturers. In an attempt to dispel these accusations and improve the university's branding, the Carnegie Mellon Board of Trustees decided to do away with the "pipeline" implication and allow the military to operate an air base directly on campus.

"Most of these kids are gonna get jobs in industry or the military after they graduate, so we thought it would be great to give them a head-start with the hands-on experience they'll need in a career supporting the sprawling international arms industry," says Major-General Brett Hawthorne, USAF.

The plan is a joint effort between all branches of the military and will involve converting a large portion of the CFA lawn, the Cut, and the Mall into tarmac to allow aircraft to land directly on campus. The Fence will be removed and relocated to the top of Flagstaff Hill where all previous rules for painting still apply. Furthermore, most of Wean Hall will be converted by the U.S. Air Force into a remote piloting station for Unoccupied Aerial Vehicles, where any student who presents a valid Carnegie Mellon ID may watch the real-time operation of an MQ-9 Reaper drone.