Silly movies are important!

As we all know, I am a huge appreciator of movies of all genres and levels of quality. However, I have sensed a troubling trend amongst movie enjoyers — people just take movies way too seriously. Why is everyone such a film critic these days? Why are people so mean to movies?

So many people will claim they don't enjoy a movie because it's “bad” or “unoriginal” or something; how they're shallow, soulless cash grabs, lacking in meaning BLAH BLAH BLAH. Okay, Negative Nancy! While you were stewing in the theater, I was having the absolute time of my life. Oh no, the special effects were bad? Who cares? Just look at them and laugh! Haha, silly effects, how fun! It didn’t have some deep, hidden message? Good! Who goes to the movies to have complex thoughts? I don’t know about you guys, but when I pull up to the theater, I am hoping for a couple of hours of escapism. Why should I care if a studio spends one morbillion dollars to make a movie? I only paid 10 dollars to see it, and by golly it has been worth it every time. Oh, you think that trope is so played out, plus “'Casablanca' did it better!” Tropes exist because people like them, that's the point! I don’t care how many times it’s been done, I’ve loved it a thousand times and I’ll love it a thousand more.

Many also criticize films on account of the demographic that enjoys them: “That movie is a toxic male manipulator movie!” Well maybe I'm a male manipulator. “‘Puss in Boots’ is a kids movie!” Well slap me into second grade and call me Sally Sue goddamn it, I saw it twice. Oh, what? War movies are for middle aged fathers, you say? Catch me grilling in my New Balances because I eat those up every time. Who cares what demographic a movie was made for? If you like the movie, then you’re the target demographic.

While I understand the appeal of a movie with a powerful message, it’s often not what I want. When I sit down and unwind, I don't really want to think about how shitty the world can be. I agree that it’s really fun and engaging to sit down and consume a really well made, emotionally charged, edge-of-your-seat, life changing movie — I’m just saying that they don’t all have to be that way. For every “The Birds,” in the world, there’s a “Birdemic: Shock and Terror,” that you can enjoy just as much. Obviously “The Birds” is a classic and a Hitchcock masterpiece. However, “Birdemic” is just utterly ridiculous, and so much fun. Yes, it looks like it was shot on a flip phone. Yes, I could’ve made better special effects on Powtoons in seventh grade. And yes, I had the absolute time of my life watching it. Even if a movie IS a cinematic masterpiece, that doesn’t have to be the reason you like it. I don’t care if “Fight Club'' is an allegory for toxic masculinity or postmodern materialism or some shit. I just think shirtless Brad Pitt beating people up is hot, and I'm tired of pretending it's not.

The root issue here is that people are so afraid to admit that they like something without it being some sort of masterpiece! Sure, people might give you some weird looks, but who cares? Are you so worried about looking soooo smart and sophisticated that you can’t appreciate “Minions: Rise of Gru?” Didn’t we move past the idea that "It’s cool not to care” thing like… a decade ago? In case no one has told you recently: You are allowed to enjoy things. Your favorite movie doesn’t need to be “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari”; it’s alright if it’s “Paddington 2.”