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Democrats in 2019

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Whenever I write for this section, I tend to take what I talk about seriously. I can’t take the elections seriously, so by extension this article isn’t serious. Now that I have broken the fourth wall, let’s talk about the elections.

Recently Beto dropped out of the race, which was a revelation for anyone who wanted it to be. I personally hope it’s so he can focus on his dead punk rock career. Beto dropping out likely wasn’t his idea. I can imagine a Democrat fixer showing up at Beto’s house one day and blackmailing him. Either way, I don’t know why Beto didn’t run for the Senate in 2020 against the guy that isn’t Ted Cruz (John Cornyn) in the first place. The Democrats should have sent a fixer the minute Beto announced he was running for the presidency. Beto should have realized that almost winning Texas doesn’t mean you can win the country.

But it shouldn’t be surprising that Beto dropped out. In fact, there are so many people who should drop out next (I won’t name names) but still want to lead the country. Here’s my question.

Why?

If you’re not polling in the double digits, and you have a better shot at positions better suited for you, why do you keep trying? Being the president looks awful. Obama lost thirty years of his lifespan in the span of eight years. I even feel bad for Trump, too. He hasn’t had time to golf more than three times a week. More importantly, if Democrats want to win the election, why are they giving people more than 5 options, let alone 20? Americans aren’t good at choosing things. We can barely choose which sob story to vote for on America’s Got Talent.

The infighting also doesn’t help the Democrats. It’s a sad day when two war hawks in the party are fighting each other on Twitter about who is a better war hawk. I, of course, refer to everyone’s favorite Clinton and every Indian’s favorite politician, Tulsi Gabbard. The debates don’t help either. They’re all shams, but I’m glad NBC, CNN, and whoever else hosted it made a good amount of money. All I’ve learned in the whole ordeal is that there are more people who think public-private partnerships are a good idea than there should be.

I don’t know if the Democrats have the chance of winning next year on their own merits. Either Trump is going to continue putting his foot in his mouth to the point that he alienates everyone who isn’t a hardcore supporter, or he wins again because of the sheer incompetence of the Democrats. No one should be shocked that the Democrats are aloof. After all, that’s what happens when the one percent who get corporate money try to relate to the lowly citizens, barring a few.

There’s nothing else to say that is useful. Everything’s a mess, and the world is near the end. Just go vote. They give out free stickers that make you feel important. Isn’t that all we need to feel at this point?