Horoscopes

Aries
March 21 - April 19

It's time to smear green paint on your face and revel in the streets. You were made for this holiday.

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

You might not be Irish, but neither was St. Patrick, so go out and have a good time anyways.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21

Your easily excitable nature makes the parades on this holiday perfect for you.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

Your friends will do embarrassing things at parades that will make you cringe, but it will be okay!

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

The Chicago River was dyed green for a full week in 1961 for St. Paddy's Day... not unlike your face after you've realized that paint is acrylic and not water-based.

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

St. Patrick didn't actually scare any snakes out of Ireland, but snakes probably aren't your thing either, so maybe you have something in common?

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

13 million pints of Guinness are sold on St. Patrick's Day! You might end up silently pondering why March 18th isn't International Hangover Day.

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Your time to shine! Or rather, get "turnt."

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

You really wish there were a lot less drunk people. Like, a LOT less.

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

St. Patrick's Day used to be a dry holiday. But don't worry, "dry" doesn't have to mean "boring".

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

This year it's time to change! Make someone else be the designated driver.

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20

You might not remember most of this holiday, but your friends will remember what you did for you.