Pillbox

Advice for Awkward People

Hey Joshua!

I’ve got a little bit of a medical issue, and I’m not quite sure where to turn. I’ve talked to Health Services and even CaPS, but nobody can really understand me like you, you beautiful, faceless man.

I’ve got a recurring sickness issue. It’s nothing life-threatening or anything, but it’s like super annoying. I’ve had a cold for like seventeen years now, and every time I get better, one of my friends or relatives or coworkers or a random woman on the subway and her snot-nosed children will get me sick again. I don’t know if I just have a weak immune system or I’m cursed by the Dark Lord Himself, but I feel like I’m getting really old really fast.

Since I can’t get any help from medical professionals, I’ve decided to sequester myself and become a monk in the Himalayas where I’ll never have to deal with sick people again, and I can live a long, happy life while trying to find inner peace, nothingness, death, a plant to take care of, or whatever monks like to find. Do you think that’s a good idea? I’d love your opinion, O’ wise one.

Signed,
Malady-Oriented, Nice Kid Yearning for
Battling Unusual Sickness, Illness, Nasty Effluvium; Snotty Suzie
Dear MONK-Y BUSINESS,

That doesn’t sound healthy at all! The first thing to do is make sure that you’re eating and sleeping and hydrating enough so your body is healthy and strong. Then, you can start really considering why your immune system seems to be so weak. It’s a very valid concern, but becoming a monk and running away from the world of modern medicine isn’t quite the solution I would have hoped you’d turn to. I suggest really taking an inventory of your own habits and making sure that you have all your bases covered in terms of your own health. If all else fails, drink some orange juice!

Peace, Love, and Puppy Dog Tails,
Joshua Brown

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