Thrilling week nine for The Tartan fantasy football league

Credit: Matthew McGehee/ Credit: Matthew McGehee/

I would just like to start off by happily acknowledging that I am not this week's biggest loser. After remembering at the last minute that five of my players had bye weeks, I had to scramble to make ends meet. I picked up players I knew nothing about and set my lineup based on nothing but projected scores, and I prayed for this best. I was lucky enough to play Forum Editor Sinead Foley's What is going on?, who I believe forgot to set her line up. I came out on top, despite not breaking 100 points and despite having a score that would've lost to any other team in the league. So here's to being the second worst ... again. Now let's dive into the week nine recap.

Plaidie Daddies over What is going on? 97–86
Week nine proved to be a tough week for both my own Plaidie Daddies and Foley's What is going on?. Foley's running backs and wide receivers definitely underperformed. Carolina running back Jonathan Stewart only managed to rush the ball for four points, and Detroit wide receiver Marvin Jones only managed to throw up one point for Foley. Jacksonville quarterback Blake Bortles did his part, however, and brought in 21 points. I owe my victory to my quarterback and wide receiver, Buffalo's Tyrod Taylor and Baltimore's Mike Wallace, respectively. Despite the win I still suffered a pretty low score, thanks to the Titan's defense that brought me in an astounding -7. The good news is that this was the first week the Plaidie Daddies maximized their players and didn't leave any points on the bench, although I definitely should've benched the Titans.

Dreamland Warriors over extremely dank team 135–110
This matchup was one I was particularly excited to see unfold. It was Sports Editor versus Assistant Sports Editor. Wood's extremely dank team versus Tanaya's Dreamland Warriors. Though both teams fought hard and served up respectable performances, poor performances from Seattle running back Christine Michael and Dallas wide receiver Dez Bryant likely cost Wood the win. Wood's team did put up two 30-point scores however, from New Orleans running back Mark Ingram and Seattle tight end Jimmy Graham, but it wasn't enough to top the Dreamland Warriors' 135 points. Top performances from Tanaya's team included 24 points from New Orleans quarterback Drew Brees and 31 points from Oakland running back Latavius Murray, who ran the ball for 114 yards and three touchdowns against Denver.

McManus's Anus over Masshole Knickerbockers 114–108
Another exciting week nine matchup was between McManus's Anus and the Masshole Knickerbockers. It was publisher Sarah Gutekunst versus former personnel manager Lula Beresford, best friend versus best friend, and it was a close one. Even with strong performances from Tampa Bay quarterback Jameis Winston and Jacksonville wide receiver Allen Robinson, the Masshole Knickerbockers couldn't make up for the one-digit scores from Baltimore running back Terrance West and Minnesota tight end Kyle Rudolph, who only managed to bring in three and seven points respectively. The matchup eventually went to McManus's Anus, whose quarterback, Russell Wilson of the Seattle Seahawks, landed two touchdowns and 282 total yards over Buffalo for 26 points. Other notable players from Gutekunst's team included 21 points from Indianapolis running back Frank Gore and 11 from Denver kicker Brandon McManus.

DeMarco DePolo over Loquacious Losers 197–114
One word — wow. Layout manager Zeke Rosenberg's team, DeMarco DePolo, played a fantastic week of football. With two players scoring in the 30s and all but the Vikings defense throwing up double digits, it was impossible to beat DeMarco DePolo. San Diego running back Melvin Gordon had a stellar performance, running the ball over 190 yards for 35 points. Tampa Bay wide receiver Mike Evans had an even better week, completing 11 receptions for 150 yards and two touchdowns, for a total of 38 points for DeMarco DePolo. Pillbox editor Abhishek Tayal's Loquacious Losers put up an admirable fight with the help of Atlanta wide receiver Julio Jones, who brought in 25 points for Tayal. But with a majority of scores in the low- to mid-teens, it wasn't enough to keep up with Rosenberg, who nearly broke 200 points.

Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood over How does this work? 152–119
This was a tough week for Foley, whose How does this work? lost to operations manager Jade Crockem's Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood, after already suffering a loss to the Plaidie Daddies. How does this work? saw strong performances from Detriot wide receiver Golden Tate, and Minnesota wide receiver Stefon Diggs, who scored 24 and 22 points respectively. It unfortunately wouldn't be enough to top Crockem's 152 points. Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers, Dallas running back Ezekiel Elliot, New Orleans wide receiver Michael Thomas, and Dallas tight end Jason Witten all brought in over 20 points each for Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood. Week nine also saw a solid 15-point performance from Kansas City kicker Cairo Santos who kicked for four field goals and an extra point, scoring 13 of the Chief's 19 points in a win over Jacksonville.

We've got four weeks left in the regular season, and some teams have set themselves apart as forces to be reckoned with in the coming weeks. Rosenberg's DeMarco DePolo and Tanaya's Dreamland Warriors both boast 6–3 records. Crockem's Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood, in addition to also having a 6–3 record, is also in command of a three game winning streak. And don't overlook Gutekunst, whose McManus's Anus is hot off of a four game winning streak.

A matchup to keep an eye on this week is Crockem versus Wood, as both are looking to roast each other over a win. Tune in next week for the week 10 recap.