New Girl puts on a new look in new season

The FOX comedy series New Girl saw its season premiere on Tuesday, and it appears that creator Liz Meriwether is following through on her promise to “sex things up.”

Let’s get this out of the way. Yes, five 30-somethings still live together. Yes, five 30-somethings are all still single. Yes, five 30-somethings still do everything with each other. Get over it; it’s fictional television.

The episode starts off with the problem most 30-somethings are depicted as having to deal with: the summer wedding season. It’s the tail end of the season, and you can tell the toll it has had on Jess (Zooey Deschanel). Her break up with Nick (Jake Johnson) is still fresh and settling like a The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast member’s newly remodeled face.

Not much has changed since viewers left the gang in the third season finale. Everyone is still single, and with this being the last wedding of the season, Schmidt (Max Greenfield) decrees, “we are hooking up tonight, all five of us.”

And with a Game of Thrones reference — winter is coming — the gang is off.

The wedding ceremony ends and as the party starts up, Jess sets her big, blue, doughy eyes on “wedding celebrity” best man Ted (Reid Scott, or Dan on Veep). However, no path to victory is smooth. Enter Kat (Jessica Biel, Mrs. Justin Timberlake), who is never tired, technically a genius, and lost her virginity to Malcolm Gladwell (Google him. I had to. It’s worth the extra laugh).

Jess and Kat do what they call the “Joe Biden,” a.k.a. stalk Ted throughout the entire episode. (Side note: how come that doesn’t creep him out?) As the night winds down, Ted cannot make up his mind. Kat gets bored and goes home with a priest, and Jess, feeling undervalued, gives up on Operation Get Laid.

Elsewhere in the episode, Schmidt and Nick contemplate a foursome with two bridesmaids (Nick is more reluctant than Schmidt, naturally). But when newly single Cece (Hannah Simone) returns from Australia, it shakes Schmidt (who is admittedly still in love with Cece), and he ultimately decides not to go through with the foursome, much to Nick’s relief.

On the other side of the wedding venue, Coach (Damon Wayans Jr.) keeps running into the women he has slept with during the wedding circuit this summer. This includes waiters, young partygoers, older partygoers, bartenders, and photographers. It seems as though he has exhausted his resources, for this year, at least. And due to his exhaustive workouts in the police academy, Winston’s (Lamorne Morris) sore muscles and immobility mean that his ice packs are his best chance of bringing something home.

The night ends with everyone heading back to the apartment to get drunk and make fun of all the married couples on their night of singularity.

New Girl premiered Sept. 16 and is scheduled to air every Tuesday at 9 p.m. on FOX.