Pillbox

Advice for awkward people

Dear Josh,

To celebrate both holidays that occurred yesterday, I partook in the consumption of substances of the illegal variety and hid a bunch of Cadbury eggs around my dorm. Problem is, I can’t find them, and now I’m really hungry and could go for some chocolate. Any advice on where I should search?

Sincerely,
Guy Looking Obsessively for Round Yummy Treats/Ornate Globular Ovals During Intense Narcotic Tetrahydrocannabinol Haziness, Extremely Hungry, Investigation Going Harrowingly, Everyone’s Staring Therewithal

Dear GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST,

It’s important that you find the eggs ASAP because they could potentially melt quickly. That could leave chocolate stains everywhere, and if you hid any in the ventilation system, the whole dorm will start smelling like chocolate, which won’t be as cool as it sounds. Often, when I’m looking for something or trying to solve a problem, I try and clear my mind and usually the answer will just come to me. Although in your case, you may want to find a different way to clear your mind.

Just make sure to spend time with your peeps,
Josh

Dear Josh,

Course registration is this week, and I’m really worried. I got such a late registration time, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get into the classes that I need. What should I do if I can’t get into those courses?

Sincerely,
Finds Registration Undeniably Stressful, Tries Repeatedly, A Tediously Excruciating Debacle

Dear FRUSTRATED,

This is going to be hard advice to take, but don’t worry about it. If by “need,” you mean “I need it to graduate,” your advisor should be making sure you can get into the class. But if by “need,” you mean, “I need it so I’ll have no Friday classes next semester,” then you’ll have to realize that not everyone is lucky in that sense. You have to find acceptance and move on.

I’ve never been able to get a Friday without classes either,
Josh