Pillbox

Rework your newspaper

Pictured above is a skirt sewn from old copies of The Tartan. (credit: Khadijat Yussuff/) Pictured above is a skirt sewn from old copies of The Tartan. (credit: Khadijat Yussuff/)

While not everyone reads The Tartan, those stacks of newspapers in The Underground and all over campus may still prove useful — though in a way you might not expect. Here we’ll explore ways to adorn yourself with new school spirit swag in the form of newspaper fashion.

A Skirt or Shorts

What you’ll need:
• The Tartan
• Scissors
• Clear laminate
• Assorted sewing supplies (thread, a needle, a zipper, etc.)

Choose a pattern of skirt or shorts you want to make, then proceed to cut out the paper into the shape you desire. I personally cut out pieces of the paper and organized them in a collage-like fashion. Whichever pattern you choose, laminate the paper before sewing anything. If you’re trying to sew straight paper, it isn’t going to work.

A Detachable Collar

What you’ll need:
• The Tartan
• Scissors
• Clear laminate
• Measuring tape
• One clip button set (the kind that comes in two parts and clicks when you push them together)

Measure the distance around your neck and collarbone. This way, you know how long to make your collar. Cut the newspaper (ideally several pages thick so it holds its shape) into the shape of your desired type of collar, be it a Peter Pan collar or a pointy formal dress collar. The collar must be cut in such a way that the only “seam” is at the back. Laminate it. Make sure the top can be folded down to allow the paper to hold on to your shirt without falling off. Attach a clip button set (one half on each side) to the back so it is hidden from view.

A Tie

This process is similar to making the detachable collar, though if you want that Windsor tie look, you’ll have to go through the trouble of tying laminated paper into the desired type of knot. You should still clip it in the back. Your tie won’t last long if you have to keep untying and retying it.

A Shirt or Tank Top

This is practically a no-brainer. Laminate the paper, cut it, and sew it. Make original designs if you desire, or mix textiles if you want fancy sleeves. Whatever you do, avoid wifebeaters or excessive cleavage. Nobody wants to see that.

An Airplane

This is the classic airplane. For some of you, it may be rewarding watching this article hover around someone’s cranium before diving nose-first into his salad. You don’t need to do anything special to this one — unless you’re in CIT.

What part of the paper you wear says a lot about you. If you feel that you need everything made out of the Comics section, go for it. If you favor straight-up facts, then bring the News section into your wardrobe. Feel free to use any type of newspaper you wish. After all, poverty chic is in (those Les Mis people were dressed way too well), and so is recycling.