Sloth-o-scopes

Aries
March 21 - April 19

Your hypothesis is correct. Rush through the test so that you can get to the conclusion and get out of the lab.

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

Don’t time your presentation. Life is short and you’re too busy to waste that kind of time.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21

Why look in that big book for the correct verb? The whole point of learning a language is to immerse yourself in the lives of others, and people make mistakes all the time.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

You used the right equation, so don’t seek confirmation by looking in your notes. Move on to the next problem set.

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

Why look for bugs in your program? You have been working on it for the past five hours — what could possibly be wrong with your code?

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Skip rehearsal — you’re dripping with natural talent. Rehearsal will just get in the way of sleep.

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

Trust me, the whole crew read every page of your packet and fully understands the play’s history. No need to sit and talk about dead people.

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

No need to double check; you know what you’re doing. I’m sure it’s level. Is there really such a thing as a straight line?

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

Add more yellow and then you’re done.

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Just pick any thesis sentence; your argument will be fine.

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

Just pick a disorder and a friend, and fill in his or her behavior as you see fit. Trial tests and observations are for losers.

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20

Don’t check that solution. The answer has to be zero.