March 21 - April 19

See the outfit you’re wearing today? Don’t let anyone else see it ever again.

Apr. 20 - May 20

You will get lost in a Wean Hall stairwell at least once today. Instead of concentrating on finding the proper exit, make an effort to be social and say hello to the people you pass on the stairs.

May 21 - June 21

Closing your eyes and wishing really, really hard for summer to be here again will only make you look silly and leave you disappointed. Fall has arrived, and there is nothing you can do about it.

June 22 - July 22

Remember: You is kind, you is smart, and you is important.

July 23 - Aug. 22

Eat lunch outside this week. Food and people-watching go together much better than what your taste buds wanted and what you actually ate for lunch.

Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

At 7:30 p.m. today, something amazing will happen to you. But only if your heart, mind, and soul are ready for the goodness coming your way.... Or maybe you’re just going to get dinner.

Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

The Library Planet is real! Don’t believe me? Wait a week, and you will see all of the classic symptoms come to light in those who never see the light of day. If your roommate has two shadows, run for the hills.

Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Oh no, they are definitely laughing.

Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

“What do you do with a BA in English...?”

Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Time Turners are real and there are people in your class who have them. It is time to find a connection to the Time Turner black market or suffer.

Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

When life gives you lemons, be more creative than just making lemonade. You go to Carnegie Mellon for heaven’s sake; you can come up with something much more impressive.

Feb. 19 - March 20

Just smile and repeat to yourself, “Mondays are fun days, Mondays are fun days.”