Horoscopes

Aries
March 21 - April 19

Make sure to save money to buy new clothes. Booth paint and sawdust may make a great impression on the people around campus, but you’re not going to be on the cover of Vogue anytime soon.

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

Inhale slowly through your nose. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Now slowly repeat: I will not cause bodily harm to my Booth Chair. I will not cause bodily harm to my Booth Chair. I will try really hard to not hurt that psycho.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21

Two words: Funnel cake. Eat up, have fun, and please don’t make yourself sick.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

They may just be a purple wristband and a silly hard hat, but treat them with some kindness and respect. Those two items are saving your life.

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

Everyone knows that you’re too cool for school traditions. It’s hipster but also sensible of you. Just don’t rain on everyone else’s good time. Pittsburgh’s weather has already signed up for that job.

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Take advantage of Hunt Library, the Gates Center, and Wean Hall being so nice and peaceful this week. However, you still won’t get anything done and you will probably be lonely while everyone else is out having fun.

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

Be proud of what you have created this week. You put your time and effort into something and did your best. It might just be building a booth or participating in Buggy, but be proud of yourself.

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Today is Monday. Fact: Tomorrow is Tuesday, the day after is Wednesday. Fact: Spring Carnival comes after Wednesday. Super fact: You’re not getting any schoolwork done this week.

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

Free food is everywhere this week, so make sure to plan accordingly. Make a map with the fastest routes to the best foods to maximize the food rush.

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Carnival means alumni, and alumni means time to brown nose any person who looks like he or she has some pull in the corporate world. Stay alert and you just might get to eat real food after college.

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

Your buggy team will be racing. Sorry the stars don’t have more to say about who will win. Even they know that taking sides can be quite dangerous.

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20

Be nice and laugh at the MC’s jokes at the Mobots event.