Pillbox

Advice for awkward people

Dear Patrick,

I’m a TA, and I really love the job. The problem is I have a crush on one of my students, and I think he likes me too! He has an A in the class, but he comes to my office hours all the time asking for extra credit. I think I could lose my job if I pursued anything. What should I do?

Thanks,
Harlotry Opportunity Tempting, Fear Overreaching Relationship, Sexual Tension Unbelievably Dripping, Eagerly Needs Tips

Dear HOT FOR STUDENT,

We’ll go ahead and assume this guy is into you (why else would anyone go to office hours?). If you’re unethical, then it’s pretty simple: Next time he comes to office hours, offer him some special “extra credit.” Maybe hold some special office hours in your dorm, if you catch my drift. Based on his performance, you can decide whether or not to give him any actual extra credit.

If you want to stay ethical, think about this: If you grade, then you really shouldn’t date your students. If you don’t, then it’s probably okay. Consider running it past your professor or checking the official school guidelines. I tried to do some research about your question, except all I found were really inappropriate videos.

You probably don’t want to do what they did,
Patrick Hoskins

Dear Patrick,

I go out to PHI on average four times a week. It’s gotten to the point where I know the bartender and all the middle-aged regulars by name. Is this too much? Should I try other bars? Or, perish the thought, go out to bars less often? It’s certainly taking a toll on my wallet, but I need my Wednesday night beer. My liver begs for an answer.

I wrote this from a bar,
Buying Alcohol Regularly, Purchases Highly Intoxicating

Dear BAR PHI,

If going to PHI is wrong, I don’t want to be right. It’s cheap, it’s close, and it’s got booze. That’s all I look for in a bar, but other people are pickier. I probably should tell you to go out and explore the world of Pittsburgh bars but that’d be hypocritical of me. And I am not a hypocrite.

Having said that, you should go out and explore the world of Pittsburgh bars. PHI is a great weeknight bar, but it’s pretty shabby by comparison. Take a weekend off, check out what else is out there, and then come back to the sweet embrace of PHI. If money’s a problem, then stick with the drink specials for a good deal on booze. There’s no reason not to go to PHI on a Wednesday.

Other than wanting to preserve your self-respect,
Patrick Hoskins