’90s-O-Scopes

Aries
March 21 - April 19

Don’t over-think your relationship issues, and definitely don’t talk to a friend about your problems. All can be solved simply and easily with a game of MASH.

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

This week is going of be a piece of cake...Psych!

Gemini
May 21 - June 21

“You always make each day a special day. By just your being you. There’s only one person exactly like you in the whole world. And that’s you yourself, and I like you.” — Mr. Rogers

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

“When you’re young, first impressions are everything. Sometimes you miss who a person really is.” — Mr. Turner, [ITL]Boy Meets World[ITL]

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

"There's only one certainty in life. A strong man stands above and conquers all!" — Vegeta, [ITAL]Dragon Ball Z[ITAL]

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

“Sounds like [you’ve] got another one of [your] complex labyrinthine conundrums of a boyhood problem.” —— Grandpa, [ITAL]Hey Arnold![ITAL]

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

“Assumption is the mother of all f*ck ups” — Travis Dane, [ITAL]Under Seige 2[ITAL]. This week, don’t be an assumption.

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

“You’re a virgin who can’t drive.” — Tai, [ITAL]Clueless[ITAL]

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?’ ” — Winnie The Pooh

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Your professor has been unreasonable lately. This week, when he or she pushes you over the edge, just tell them to talk to the hand.

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

Be confident in yourself. Your ideas are amazing, you just need to stand up and have courage. Remember — you got it, dude.

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20

Your professor has been unreasonable lately. This week, when he or she pushes you over the edge, just tell them to talk to the hand.