Midterm Horoscopes

Aries
March 21 - April 19

Even though your books haven’t left your side in weeks, it doesn’t do much good if you haven’t read them. Learn from Cory and Shawn’s mistakes by watching the episode “Life Lessons” from Boy Meets World.

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

Fact: Writing words is hard. For your upcoming writing assignment, don’t pull a Phoebe. Check out “Phoebe Cheats” from Hey Arnold! and see why the guilt of cheating is worse than anything else.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21

A little superstition is okay, but if your lend your lucky item to a friend for midterms, make sure you get it back. Losing it would really Wamp! See just how much in Disney’s Recess episode titled “Good Luck Charm.”

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

In the episode “Arthur and the True Francine” from the show about everyone’s favorite aardvark, Arthur, Muffy cheats off Francine’s test. Don’t let the stress of this week drive you to do something stupid like Muffy.

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

You could study for your French midterm, or you could watch the Dexter’s Lab episode called “The Big Cheese,” in which Dexter doesn’t study for his French test. Procrastination at its finest.

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Don’t dream that your professor is sick on the day of your exam. Things won’t end well, especially if you are a worrier like Cory from Boy Meets World in the episode “I Dream of Feeny.”

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

Last week you had a midterm, this week you have a midterm, and next week you will have more midterms. You deserve a break and a chance to be happy again. Watch the Pokémon Rap clip and be happy once more.

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

When Sabrina from Sabrina, the Teenage Witch failed her quiz, she went to bootcamp in the episode “Sabrina Gets Her License.” When you fail your test, the only thing that will happen is your QPA will suffer. Now, don’t you feel better?

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

No one on campus wants to take midterms, but taking them is a reality we must all face. Running from the inevitable will only cause calamity as seen in the “T.G.I.F.” episode of Pepper Ann.

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

You lucky humanities major. You don’t have any midterms, but you still have plenty of work. While everyone around you is dying, play it cool like your favorite literary pup Wishbone from Wishbone and watch “Prince in the Pooch."

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

Don’t go out partying before your midterm, especially if you haven’t been to that particular class all year. Unless you have a twin and can play to the comedic effect found in the Sister, Sister episode “Twins Or Consequences,” go study.

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20

Don’t try to profit from your friend’s stress and stupidity this week. If it didn’t work for Gretchen Grundler in “This Brain for Hire” on Disney’s Recess, it isn’t going to work for you.