Horoscopes

You will have to juggle two part-time lovers this semester, but you are hopefully up for the task. Keep them in separate libraries and you’ll be fine.

You’re going to be a star — a rather infamous star, that is — when you are the main focus of the Crime and Incident Report.

A good rule of thumb: When in doubt, bribe your RA. Don’t waste time reading rules; just slip your RA some cash and everyone will be happy.

You will find an awesome study area for the semester, but a word of caution: Don’t tell too many people or your peace and tranquility will be destroyed forever.

Not only will you get home safely by walking with SafeWalk volunteers, you will also work on your flirting skills.

Ditch the normal-kid persona you built up over the summer and go back to your true nerdy self. You are back at Carnegie Mellon, which means you are safe.

Ppl who spend the whole 24 spitting lame slang and I.M. speech in their everyday vocab r gonna drive u nutz.

Save enough money to buy yourself love. And by love, I mean a new Apple product.

I know that you love your roommate, but he or she will want to get really close to you rather than with you by winter vacation. Run now!

You will find the answers you seek, and in the mean time you will stumble upon questions you didn’t even know you had.

You will face a tough decision trying to decide which side of Pittsburgh’s bipolar weather affects your studying schedule more.

You will settle into a mundane pattern that will leave you feeling as if you are slowly losing your youth and zest for life. Don’t fear; you’re not alone.