Horoscopes

Aries
March 21 - April 19

Time to change your signature on your e-mail to something more fun. Instead of your name and major, why not put your personal likes and dislikes and your relationship status?

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

It is your job this week to push your friends toward majors they are not suited for.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21

Whatever you’re thinking while reading this, you might want to rethink it.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

Though talking to your homework helps you to get it done, be mindful of your surroundings. Talking to your homework in your room is a good thing; talking to your homework while in the UC, not so much.

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

Ease up on the photo tagging this week. Some people don’t want others to know how they spent their weekend.

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Jeggings are not jeans, no matter how much detail you add to them. Real pockets and realistic zippers do not equal real pants, so don’t go out underdressed this week.

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

If you feel like saying something mean this week, laugh instead. If your group partner tells you that they just lost your lab notebook with over 20 hours worth of work in it, just laugh your anger away.

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Beware of secret cameras installed by your subordinates. It will be easy to find the ones in your room and office, but the one in your backpack will be much harder to find.

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

Create your own class for next semester called “The World according to Google Doodles,” in which each class is spent analyzing and exploring the history behind each Google Doodle.

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Sorry, not even I have a clue how this week is going to turn out for you.

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

Not all babies can be YouTube stars, so next time you see a toddler doing something cute or funny, don’t rush over to his or her parents pretending to be a casting agent.

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20

Throw caution to the wind: Delete your Google Calendar.