Horoscopes

Don’t let your quarter-life crisis take you over. Ease the possible destruction and depression by going on a cartoon TV binge.

Whatever you do, don't listen to the fortune cookie.

No, you can't count sitting on your couch watching TV and eating different brands of chips all summer long as a marketing internship.

Sunscreen protects your skin from the sun's harmful rays, but there is nothing that can save you from the sun's ability to make you procrastinate.

No matter how hard you try, your parents will never fully understand what you do at school, which really isn't a bad thing.

Sleep now, for Buggy and Booth loom dangerously near.

When you buy something online you’re actually spending real money that will come out of your real bank account. Try not to look so surprised.

It's Monday, Monday, gotta get down on Monday. Gotta get that stupid song out of your head.

If you know it takes your friends more than an hour to decide what's for dinner, make sure that they are deciding more than hour before most eateries close. If not, I foresee many hungry nights.

One small but important thing that you should know before any interview is this: What in the world you are interviewing for in the first place?

One person's trash may be another person's treasure, but when it comes to music it's another person's headache.

Inside jokes are just rude. They cross the line into being obnoxious when they are printed in a newspaper. Hey, are buses running today?