Horoscopes

Aries
March 21 - April 19

Remember: What happens during spring break stays on the Internet forever.

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

If you're not going anywhere for spring break, then turn the heat up in your room and pretend you're somewhere tropical.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21

Your Megabus ride to your spring break destination will be interesting — and by interesting, I mean terrible, because you thought it was a good idea to party before going on a long, bumpy bus ride. Great idea huh?

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

I know what you did last spring break, and all I can say is "ew."

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

You will make a new friend in a complete stranger. Make sure you do a background check before you invite him over.

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Staring at the clock on your cell phone will not make time go faster. It will, however, cause your depression to grow at an exponential rate.

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

Don't get mad — get Glad. If that doesn't work, then get even.

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

No prediction could be better than knowing that you can sleep soon.

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

Your mid-semester grades will surprise you. I'm not saying whether it will be for better or for worse, but it will be a surprise nonetheless.

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Someone you don't always listen to will become the one person whose advice you will seek this week. The scary thing is, that person is you.

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

You should start to prepare your spring hibernation kit. Make sure you have a warm blanket, a charged cell phone, ready-made snacks, and ear plugs.

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20

Four more days, four more days, four more days.