Special

Statistically Speaking

Last Week President Obama flip-flopped once again and decided to send humans to Mars. But instead of sending astronauts, he is going to send death panels. Here are some stats that you may not know about death panels on Mars:

Distance from Mars to the Sun (in number of planets): 4

Future children not yet killed by death panels: 8,030,283,309

Google results for "Martian death panels": 9

Death panels required to be present for all Death Star planetary annihilations: 13

Estimated cost of sending a death panel to Mars: priceless

Sources: [SLANT12]http://more.com/2050/8034-a-modest-healthcare-proposal[SLANT12]
Note: This source is real.