Spray-chalked mobots caught wandering through campus
University Police are currently investigating an incident of robot cruelty after nine defaced mobots were found scattered around campus. University Center staff recovered the first painted mobot trying to climb the stairs in Kirr Commons and began receiving calls of similar findings from as far away as Scaife Hall. The vandals reportedly used spray chalk, a semi-permanent marking tool historically used for sorority advertising.
Robot rehabilitators have been unable to remove the spray chalk from the mobots’ exoskeletons. “Once the spray chalk eventually wears off, there’s a high probability that it’s going to gum up the mobot’s bearings,” said Milton Jangles, owner of Lube-U-Right, a mobot repair shop.
While details are still coming out, a flock of reporters has been found photographing the mobots in their debilitated state.
Anonymous sources have pointed the finger at Kappa Lambda Omicron Kappa Kappa Kappa Kappa Kappa (KLOKKKKK), the campus’ animal-rights-interest fraternity.