Everything you need to know
I’ve been super anti-social lately. It’s not because I’m depressed, it’s just because I always choose the wrong people to hang out with and they always end up stabbing me in the back later. I really enjoy my alone time, but I’m afraid I might be using it as an escape. How can I find better people to spend my time with?
I feel for you! But really, overall, I think it’s best not to settle when it comes to friends, especially if you think you’ll be disappointed. It’s just like significant others — you need to take the time to think about it.
Look for friends that you feel good around. They could be closer than you think, waiting for the backstabbers to scatter like roaches being attacked by super-strength Raid. These people could be at your favorite lounge spots, in your classes, in the UC by the black chairs watching the muted TV at 3 a.m. — the possibilities are limitless.
And if, at any point, these people start making you feel worthless, keep them at bay and start your search again. Besides, it takes a really mature and self-aware person to be able to have their alone time without going crazy about it, so feel free to keep doing that, as long as you hang out with some of your prospective friends too.
So long to the solo,
How can I cut the bad influences out of my life? I am talking about people in particular.
—Seeking Some Better Influences
You should invest in a pair of heavy-duty scissors—and no, I am not suggesting that you literally cut someone, because that would be wrong. Very, very wrong.
What I am suggesting is that you walk away from people who are affecting you in a negative way. The best way to go about this would be to confront these bad influences and tell them why you are wielding those scissors and pointing them in their direction. That way, they won’t be coming around asking why you stopped talking to them all of a sudden and they won’t be giving you the evil eye.
Make sure that when and if you cut those people out of your life, you remain open to accepting new and better individuals as your friends and colleagues.
You’ll find good people,