My (pseudo-)Snuggie ownership: A personal journey in fashion
My mother got my family a set of Snuggies for Christmas.
Actually, they weren’t the Snuggie™ blankets, per se, but a pretty accurate imitation from the Bed and Bath section of Macy’s. They were your average quilt-like material on the outside and cotton-flannel inside, with an array of strategically placed buttons holding the whole thing together. They came in a large cardboard box, using up a fair amount of wrapping paper. It’s ironic to think that a garment whose purpose is to swaddle you was over-swaddled in holiday packaging. I wasn’t too convinced at the beginning.
In any case, never in my life would I have thought that I would be a Snuggie-imitator owner. They looked ridiculous in the infomercials, but maybe that’s just an indication of my snobbery. I wasn’t quite convinced by a garment that was halfway between a classy living room throw blanket and nightwear pajamas, but that’s probably just an indication of my non-acceptance. Plus, as a Carnegie Mellon student, I couldn’t imagine getting that comfortable — sitting on a cushy couch, wrapped in warm, soft material, leisurely reading a magazine. Snuggies were impractical garments for an unattainable lifestyle, so I dismissed them.
Until they showed up under my Christmas tree. Wanting to be an informed Snuggie owner, I fully researched all the uses, benefits, and risks. The official Snuggie website proclaims that their product is perfect for sporting events, chilly office buildings, and... nighttime pub crawls? Needless to say, I took some of their suggestions and ignored others. But if anyone sees Snuggied-up bar-goers in PHI Bar anytime, please inform me.
The official Snuggie website also featured nice pictures of people and their Snuggies in a natural environment. Which means, of course, that the pictures were just beautifully staged. They showed a good-looking couple enjoying a date night by the fire, a mother reading to her child, and a woman on a plane.
I knew I could never attain the idyllic lives of those Snuggie owners, which is probably why I’m a pseudo-Snuggie owner. While the original Snuggie is somewhat figure-conforming, my pseudo-Snuggie was basically a quilt folded over twice with holes for my arms and head. It was kind of funny-looking, and thus I never would wear it outside of immediate family, but I grew to like it over time. You could never take it camping or actually sleep with it, but the idea grew on me, and before long I became attached to it. It is actually quite warm, which is the primary reason my mother got them and immediately lowered the thermostat to a cool 60 degrees.
“It was the best $19.95 I’ve ever spent,” my mother said. “Saves a bunch on our heating bills.”