Hauntoscopes

Aries
March 21 - April 19

Being yourself is the best and most original costume possible. It is also the scariest.

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

You are determined to enjoy your weekend, so you will be working extra hard in order to get your responsibilities out of the way and have fun. However, there might be an unexpected bump in the road along the way.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21

Make your appointment at Student Health Services now — I foresee a high volume of candy, parties, and fun, which will lead to panic in the wee hours of Monday morning when you realize that you haven’t done any homework at all.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

You should go as a stressed college student this Halloween. Think of the money and effort you will save because you already have a really believable costume and the ability to accurately pull off the behavior needed to play the part.

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

Go as a stereotypical Pitt student for Halloween: Act very intoxicated and wear as little clothing as possible. To make the costume more believable, have some friends help you walk down the street to make sure you don’t fall over.

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

To the Virgo reading this horoscope right now: Halloween is this Sunday, not this whole week, so please take off your mask right now.

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

Stay away from Hunt on All Hallows’ Eve — it may be haunted with students of semesters past. Look twice when you pass someone who looks happy and content while studying late into the night on the 31st.

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Attention! Purnell is not putting on a week-long Halloween costume pageant! Some of the students who frequent the building dress that way all year.

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

Watch out for the bagger you are hosting this weekend. He or she might attack you in your sleep in hopes of taking your spot here at Carnegie Mellon.

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

What do computer science majors call the holiday that takes place on the 31st? Hallo-Wean.

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

Remember that the scariest zombie of all is a computer science major away from Gates or Wean.

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20

Nothing this Halloween can be scarier than your mid-semester grades.