Blogs serve up hunger-inducing humor
The Fat Koko is a cheese steak sandwich stuffed with french fries and mozzarella sticks. Now, if that doesn’t sound mouth-wateringly, arteries-cloggingly filling — how about peeled Chicken McNuggets boiled in a paste of their own breading and served over pureed fries?
The world of food blogging is full of these bizarre combinations and innovative recipes. The best sites do it all with a dash of humor and a pinch of salt. Add in a snazzy presentation and you get some of the most popular blogs on the Internet.
Dressing up droll foods
On a website garnished with the familiar color pairing of yellow on bright red, a warmly-lit picture features a moist creme brulee served alongside a strawberry tart. These decadent desserts, however, boast a rather humble beginning: a box of Dunkin’ Donuts.
Each entry on fancyfastfood.com comes with a recipe describing how to transform cheap fast food into more extravagant meals. In the case of our erudite sweets, the fillings of eight Boston Kreme, a vanilla cream, and three strawberry jelly doughnuts are extracted, morphing into the creme brulee, tart topping, and tart filling, respectively. Meanwhile, the actual pastry gets ground up and mashed together to form the tart’s crust.
From McDonald’s to 7-Eleven, the inexpensive offerings of many fast food restaurants are featured on this relatively new blog. Some entries even embed videos to illustrate how to create these radical recipes.
A feast for the eyes
A double bypass burger teeters precariously, weighed down by two fried eggs, five slices of bacon, and four slices of cheese. Being wedged between two grilled cheese sandwiches doesn’t help its foundational stability, either.
Photographs of this and other stomach-turning dishes on thisiswhyyourefat.com practically ooze fat onto your computer screen as your eyes bloat from the caloric intake. Each hunger-inducing image is accompanied by a tantalizing description like “Oreo cream centers removed and melted into a dip.”
While some of the ideas can nauseate even the most adventurous eaters — anyone for a burger topped with Easy Cheese inside a jelly doughnut? — the tendency of our species to crave fat and sugar is enough to drive this blog to popularity for a very long time.
Professional doesn’t always mean quality
Imagine going to a shop to get a personalized cake made. You have decided that you want the guest of honor to hack into his own face, so you provide the bakery with a flash drive on which you have provided the perfect picture to transfer onto the cake. As you open the box, you are presented with a painstaking replica of your flash drive in all its frosted glory. This true story is one of many painfully hilarious tales on the menu at cakewrecks.com, a blog devoted to bewildering blunders of professional cake decorators.
From malformed cartoon characters to misunderstood instructions — one gorgeous chocolate cake with a chocolate-dipped strawberry on top was marred by the inscription “Leave Blank” — Cake Wrecks does not fail to amuse and delight its readers with some of the worst excuses for professional products ever to come out of the world of cake.
A little taste after dinner
The simple formula espoused in American movies and television shows is that if a man takes a woman out to dinner, she is obliged to return the favor by providing a little “dessert” afterward. This is the creative energy behind cooktobang.com.
The recipes might be easier than pie for Julie Powell, but they are certainly presentable enough to entertain that fine guy or gal you’ve been hoping to coax. The savory “Atkins for Trouble Burger Salad” takes only 10 minutes and $8 to make and is a perfect protein-rich choice to precede some strenuous physical activity.
The simple dinners and quick desserts are designed to give the illusion of restaurant-quality food in the hopes of standing in for that expensive meal. What makes this blog so well-read, however, is that every entry drips with sarcasm and even peppers in a few jabs at the reader just for tuning in.
Playing with your food
From the delectably adorable to the certifiably peculiar, insanewiches.com offers readers a taste of some very unusual sandwiches — if you stretch the definition of sandwich a little.
One entry serves up a bread computer mouse with ham for buttons, paired with a USB cheese stick. Another gives you a sandwich somewhere between breakfast and lunch (though the author assures us it’s not brunch): a turkey and cheese club served on waffles — four of them — instead of bread.
While this blog doesn’t serve up the same kind of wit as the previous two, each entry is unique enough to bring readers back for more. After all, who wouldn’t want to see the next daily special from the site that brought you the ham, salami, capaccolo, and pancetta sandwich in a wine glass?
Rule 34, which, according to urbandictionary.com, states that “if it exists, there’s porn on it,” makes the Internet seem like an often frightening place to graze, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying the sugar and spice of funny food blogs. If you’re feeling creative, send an entry their way; these bloggers are always on the lookout for new ideas to broadcast to the world.