Everything you need to know

Recently, I have been put on a blog that put me in a bad light. There’s no libel on it, but I don’t like being misrepresented by someone who knows almost nothing about me. What can I do to change this?

—Blogged in Baker

Dear Blogged,

There’s a very effective process to take care of this problem. If the blog is currently on your web browser, find the small “x” located on the top right of your screen, and then click on it. By doing so, you have probably stopped all views of your blog article.

Blogs offer painfully horrible articles written by those who have an opinion about everything. Ask a blogger about his or her opinion on the price of cheese in Spain in 1954, and you will get a 15-page report filled with absolute nonsense. Chances are either cheese, Spain, or the year 1954 will be called “ignorant” during the process. Bloggers like to use that term to sound worldly.

Please don’t take offense if you’ve been a victim of blog hate. Remember, these are the same people who fill YouTube with cynical comments. To them, even instructional videos on gardening are “photoshopped,” “quote unquote anti-intellectual per-se,” and of course, “ignorant.” If gardening can take a hit from bloggers, then so can you. The best way to deal with them is to ignore them.

Zero Comments,

Dear Joe,

I recently found a $100 bill lying in a grocery store. I waited around for a long time to see if anyone was looking for it, and even gave it to a manager just in case someone asked where it was. After two weeks, the store called, and said that no one had claimed it. Now I have $100, and I don’t know what to do with it. Any suggestions?

—Rich in Resnik

Dear Rich,

First off, nice job on doing the right thing. Hopefully, the person who lost the money was loaded. In fact, chances are he or she was. Who else carries $100 bills?

Now, about the spending part, you have several options. Of course, one of them is charity. And that’s not a bad idea. I’m sure there are thousands who need that cash more than you. If you don’t want to give it away, that’s fine too. I’m not here to guilt you, Rich.

Personally, if I had to spend $100, it would be on a large amount of something that’s relatively cheap. This way, you can feel the effects of your money for a long time. For instance, I would buy 50 pounds of ground beef. If properly refrigerated, this can give you months and months of quality dinners. Vegetarian? That’s alright. Just fill your cabinets with lentils or tofu.

Of course, you can always get a new pair of shoes, some DVDs, or even invest your money. But why choose the lame option? This money was found in quirky circumstances, and that’s how it should be lost as well.

That'll be $80,