Everything you need to know
When I like someone, I like them — warts and all. And by warts, I mean subtle physical or emotional flaws, not actual warts (gross!). But when it comes to myself, I’m always worried that I won’t be able to find someone willing to look past my flaws, or that, if they do, they’ll always be thinking: “Man, I like her, but I wish she were less weird.”
I know that self esteem is more of a problem for 13-year-olds, but I guess I never really got over it. How can I feel confident while still knowing I’m not perfect?
—Nerdy in Wean
If you are indiscriminate in those you choose to like, don’t you think there are people out there who are the same? And if someone does judge you for your flaws, you don’t want to be with that kind of person anyway. Kick ’em to the curb!
Confidence, I think, relies on the knowledge that you aren’t perfect. It’s your lack of doing everything textbook-style that makes you unpredictable and worth pursuing. Be confident in the fact that you are a little weird, and that even with all your imperfections you can light up one lucky person’s day and bring a smile to his face.
Perfection is a bore,
I’m not the kind of person who hates a lot of people. It’s a strong word, so I don’t like using it. However, there are special negative/repulsive feelings I hold for a privileged few. I cross their paths on campus once a week and have found that I’m not sure what to do. Is there any etiquette for walking past people you don’t like?
—Confused on Social Conduct
In this kind of situation, you have two options. Option one is not to speak to said person(s) at all. Don’t address them, not even with eye contact; your quasi-enemy will be left wondering why you just looked at them with a crooked eye instead of simply saying “hey.”
But if you are a particular fan of contempt, you should go with option two: You should definitely say “hi” to them, laying on the sarcasm thick. Shout something like “Oh yes, hello! I really like you!” to them before rolling your eyes and sauntering off. After a while, if your victim isn’t completely dense, they will get the point and stop talking to you, and you won’t even have to be concerned with whether to speak to them; they’ll have made the decision for you.