Everything you need to know

Dear Prerna,

I am very excited. Wait, I am very nervous. No, excited. Maybe just a combination of both. Well, the thing is that I am going on my very first date. Ever. Yes, it may seem weird that I have never dated before, but I finally found a girl that interests me. We usually do math homework together and it’s fun. Anyway, I don’t know how to act on this date, what to do, or where to take her. Should I give her a good night kiss or not at the end of the date? I want this to be her best date. Help me, please.

—A Worried Wooer

Dear Worried,

Aww, it’s your first date! You should be excited and not nervous at all. After your first date, you’ll realize that along with the date comes the unnecessary hype. I’m going to tell you a big secret: Be yourself on this date. Your girl is waiting for a date with the boy she does math with, so give her exactly what she wants, and depending on the type of girl she is, plan your evening.

Usually, you would like to keep the first date simple, yet fun — a good way you both can get to know each other. Take her to the movies or out for dinner. I would recommend you keep schoolwork out of the topic. Compliment her at the beginning of the date, and give her your constant attention throughout, but don’t get imposing.

About the kiss, depending on how the date goes, you can make your move. Usually, the girl gives indications, so if she’s hanging around after the date or is being flirty, I think she’s ready for you to make your move. But remember: Slow and steady wins the race. If it doesn’t work out, come to me and we can find you a pretty lady.

Enjoy the date!


Dear Prerna,

I have a simple, yet much-debated, question — should I pay for every date? The thing is, I’m a gentleman — the holding-doors-open-and-picking-up-the-check kind of guy. Sadly, some girls think that it’s a bit too much. My problem is that I grew up in an environment that makes me think it’s necessary to be chivalrous. Also, nowadays I have noticed that when I don’t pick up the check, I am given dirty looks. What should I do?

—Old-Fashioned Fella

Hey OFF,

Being a girl, I can answer this question from the bottom of my heart: I’d love a chivalrous man. Who doesn’t like a man who holds the door open and is polite? However, over time I have come across many girls who find chivalry annoying and others who take it for granted. So I suggest that if you see a pretty girl holding a big stack of books and she looks like she’s going to fall over, ask her if she needs help. Don’t force yourself on her, but be the gentleman that you are. Every girl loves to be helped as long as she doesn’t seem helpless.

Also, on a date, I would recommend you use the line “Oh, let me get this one, and how about you get the next?” You’re subtly suggesting a second date, as well as saying that you are open to her paying for the meal next time, and not provoking her feminist side. You will definitely find that special girl who loves your chivalry and you just the way you are.

Good luck,