Did you know?

100 years ago
April 1, 1908

Looking for a bully time? Then come on down to the Oakland Natatorium and Athletic Club, advertised in this week’s Tartan. The club offers 12 bowling alleys and a billiard room, with private lanes for the ladies. Thank goodness for that. If women were allowed to bowl publicly, soon they’d be asking for even more absurdities, like voting.

50 years ago
April 1, 1958

The Spring Carnival Committee announces a mustache growing competition. The contest is open to all males on campus, but I’m sure that if a female wanted to give it a go, she would be welcome to participate with the guys. Also, ROTC students are relieved of their shaving duties so that they can join in on the fun. All mustaches worn after the contest is over, however, will be regarded as evidence of membership in the Communist Party.

25 years ago
April 1, 1983

In the annual April Fools’ issue, the Tartan writes a spoof article about Indiana Jones finding the Lost Ark at Carnegie Mellon. Apparently, Jones uncovered an important temple containing the Ark built by a lost race of pygmies under the Cut. One could only wish the article was true, because it would mean more movies shot on campus. Just imagine: Indiana Jones and the Walkers of the Lost Sky.

10 years ago
April 6, 1998

In Person’s Op, students are asked what they think about the dismissal of “Jones vs. Clinton.” In response, people don’t give a damn. “I really don’t care about that at all,” replies a sophomore in communication design. A social history student quips, “If he’s doing an all right job running the country, I don’t really care what he does with the little president.” Man, was politics really that calm back in the day?

5 years ago
April 1, 2003

In another April Fools’ edition of The Tartan, Dining Services proclaims that their food is delicious. The head chef explains, “It is our understanding that dining is now officially yummy, yes.” In fact, this article was no joke. Carnegie Mellon dining has always provided quality meals served by friendly staff at reasonable prices. April Fools’!

1 year ago
April 2, 2007

In a stunning paradox, Carnegie Mellon increases Entropy to gain order. Slated to move next to Si Señor, the new Entropy will offer more products and a friendlier atmosphere. More importantly, it will block the windows to the swimming pool. It’s about time the unshapely people of the world receive the private swimming rights that they deserve.