Everything you need to know

Hey Janet,

So there’s this girl, and we had a thing, but we both know we’re not right for dating each other. She still wants to keep me around for physical comfort, I think because I’m convenient. I’m not interested in anyone else, but I know I’m just in this situation because I’m really attracted to her. It’s come to the point where I have to battle my own desires every weekend. What should I do?

—Tempted Over Racy Needs

Dear TORN,

What you should do depends on what you want. Something keeps you coming back to her, whether sexual or emotional, so before you act you have to figure out what you’re shooting for: a physical relationship, a friend, or simply freedom from your desires?

If it’s just the temptation of seeing her, you’ll have to be strong, and you might try hanging out elsewhere. Meeting new people will hopefully help you move on. My completely uninformed guess is that beyond the sexual attraction, you have some unresolved feelings for her. If that’s the case, continuing to sleep with her will only make things harder, and getting some space is absolutely the best thing to do.


Dear Janet,

This year I moved into a suite with two friends, and their living habits are horrific. They leave food rotting in the sink, they never take the trash out, and nobody ever cleans the common rooms. I end up doing everything, and it’s gotten to the point where I’m starting to resent my friends! What should I do?

—Needs Eager Assistance (with) Trash

Dear NEAT,

My vote would be to sit down for a house meeting and try to agree on certain chores for each of you. If that doesn’t work, you may have to get creative, leaving notes for them or even moving the entirety of someone’s mess from a common area to their room.

If they’re incredibly resistant, you might be able to work out a deal where you do all the cleaning and, in return, they buy all the beer and pizza. You get the idea; adapt it to your personality and lifestyle. Finally, I have to ask — are you positive you’re not overreacting? Aim for the elimination of garbage and rotting food first; the rest will follow. I sincerely wish you luck.