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Dear Myrtle,

My boyfriend is super intelligent. I like him a lot, but he always — always — beats me at the one and only game I’m good at — online Boggle. How do I stay competitive and interesting to someone who is legitimately (IQ-tested) smarter than me?

—Doofus-like Unintelligent Moron

Hey there,

Don’t give up, DUM. (It’s spelled with a B, by the way.) It’s okay that you and your boyfriend aren’t both brilliant in the same areas. If you were both super brilliant and super awesome at online Boggle, you might get really competitive about it and yell and argue all the time. This way, you can make him feel smart by playing online Boggle with him. You should try actual Boggle sometime, by the way. It’s more intimate. But your problem is to find something that will make you feel smart. There’s no way he’s better than you at everything — you just need to figure out what you can beat him at and make him do it. He’s good at word games — are you good at Sudoku, karaoke, charades, pool, blackjack, beer pong, pinball, or Minesweeper? Games aside, you’re probably a better artist, cook, speaker of Taiwanese, maker of napkin animals, or something. Don’t fixate on the stuff he’s good at — fixate on what you’re good at, and enjoy doing it.


Dear Myrtle,

I’m very worried about one of my friends. She just won’t accept Jesus. I’ve invited her to come to church many times, but she always says no. I’ve even given her some excellent books, but she never even reads them. She’s such a sweet person, and I just can’t bear the idea that she’s going to Hell! What can I do?

—Loving, Anxious Soul-Saver

LASS, sweetheart,

Jesus is not a vaccination. You can’t force someone to believe something, no matter how much you want to. Inviting your friend to be part of something you believe in and find fulfilling is great — but do it once and then quit. By persisting ,you’re only making your friend uncomfortable and upset — your tactics are probably actually driving her away from your beliefs and everything they represent. She’s probably quite happy with her beliefs. Are you entirely happy with yours? Do you really want to believe in a God that would send such a sweet person as your friend to fiery torment? Think about it. Cut down on the missionary stuff and just be a good friend, LASS.


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