8 10 12
From the director of Spy Kids and Sin City (and The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D) comes the tale of a traveling mariachi who is mistaken for a murderer and has to hide from a gang that wants to kill him. This is one of Robert Rodriguez’s first films, so don’t expect Bruce Willis ripping the neon yellow genitalia off his foes. It’s 80 minutes; it’s fast-paced; it’s entertaining. It’s Thursday, what the hell else do you have to do?
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
7 10 1
Some people really liked this movie. I have no idea why. I’d rather watch Pirates 1 twice than watch Pirates 2 once. Marty Griffin would rather watch Pirates non-stop, but let’s get back on track: The only reason to see this movie is so you have a clue when you go to see Pirates 3. Nothing really happens; Depp and Knightley keep their clothes on; and the acting, story, action, comedy, cinematography, spunk, and originality all get left by the wayside.
8 10 12
Richard Donner (Director: Superman , The Goonies, Lethal Weapon 1, 2, 3, and 4) is densely packed with action. It’s about an alcoholic cop (Bruce Willis) who has to escort a witness (Mos Def) to a courthouse. The courthouse is, coincidentally, 16 blocks away from the police station. Some people don’t want Mos Def to reach the courthouse. It’s entertaining, and at the same time not believable and forgettable. I’d hit it.
Dave Chapelle's Block Party
8 10 12
What? The director of Eternal Sunshine does a semi-documentary written by Dave Chapelle? You’re damn right, and it’s good, too. This isn’t really a movie, it’s more of a celebration — a celebration of happiness and America. It’s got music, comedy, and... comical commentary about music. If you like rap, and you like Dave Chapelle, go see this movie. If rap gives you a headache or you find Chapelle to be one of the most annoying public figures in existence, don’t go see this movie. Unless you’re a masochist.