Sports

Compubookie: Buggy Predictions

Greetings, Buggy lovers! Easter is upon us, and as we all know, that means racing time. Like always, I will be letting all of you in on my expert predictions and analyses of what to expect for Sweepstakes 2006.

Let’s begin with the women: After two days of racing, coming in third will be the women of PiKA A. That is, assuming they pass their drop test. After a disappointing DQ in 2005, look for SDC A to squeak by PiKA A into second place. Their buggies seem to be rolling faster than in years past; it’s nice to see student funds being put to good use.

And that leaves us with? Fringe A. Coming off a powerhouse performance last year, look for the women of Fringe to establish themselves as the team to beat. If they bring home the trophy this year, you can be sure they’ll be a favorite next year as well.

Now on to the men’s competition: It’s been a while since Pioneers has been able to put together a second-day push team, but I think they may have found the chemistry this year to break into the top 10. (Then again, maybe not.)

With UAAs once again interfering with race day, Fringe lacks the depth to keep their B team in top-five contention. Still look for them to finish with a sub-2:20 time.

After their house-record performance last year, look for KDR A to be disappointed. With the loss of pushers due to graduation, their team lacks the experience to put up a repeat of last year.

Few B teams have been able to perform with the consistency that the men of PiKA B have. However, with the strength of the field this year, don’t expect them to finish above seventh.

Assuming their buggy rolls on its wheels and not its side, the Zoo should put up their normal freeroll and chute times. Although slightly improved, their Achilles heel once again will be the mongrels they call a push team. Perhaps instead of spending money on rush next year, they should look into
some sort of coordination training.

After slowing seven seconds from 2004 to 2005, expect Spirit to be back to their old form this year. A little less singing and dancing, a little more training, and Spirit A will be back where they belong, in the top five.

The big boys of Beta A, after taking a year to collect their thoughts, seem more motivated and enthusiastic than I’ve ever seen them. Look for them to set the sub-2:15 benchmark, leaving the bottom six teams with some nasty turf burn.

The mechanics of SDC seem to think their transition flagger carries an airgun, as they routinely mistake the crosswalk for pit row. If they can keep their buggy in one piece, look for SDC A to easily wheel themselves into third.

Since we all know Buggy has become a two-horse race, here are the predictions that actually matter. Fringe A showed up strong on mini race day, taking home PiKA’s beer and striking fear into their entire organization. While I don’t mean to write off the win as a fluke, don’t expect it to be repeated on Saturday. Their technology, motivation, and experience are not in question, but they have yet to prove capable of beating PiKA on the hills. Sorry, boys, but the celebration will have to wait one more year.

This year’s champion, coming as no surprise, will be the men of PiKA A. After four years of hits to my pocketbook, I can no longer turn a blind eye to their domination. On the verge of a five-peat, overconfidence could prove to be their downfall. I’ll give them the win, but don’t expect them to rewrite any record books.

That’s all I have for this year. Good luck to all of the competitors, and look for me in the shadows with my black hat and trench coat.

—Compubookie

Men

  1. PiKA A
  2. Fringe A
  3. SDC A
  4. Beta A
  5. Spirit A
  6. Sig Nu A
  7. PiKA B
  8. KDR A
  9. Fringe B
  10. Pioneers A

Women

  1. Fringe A
  2. SDC A
  3. PiKA A
  4. Spirit A
  5. Sig Nu A
  6. Kappa A
  • AEPi — You're not allowed to drive on the sabbath.
  • Beta — Hope your Hill 1 pusher can count down from three.
  • CIA — Your buggies are older than your pushers.
  • Fringe — Still on the edge.
  • Kappa — It's not a good sign when you have girls teaching a guy how to drive.
  • KDR — You can't push a buggy up Brokeback Mountain.
  • Phi Kap — Once upon a time you were good as something.
  • PiKA — Only racing the clock.
  • Pioneers — If race day gets cancelled, do we tie for first?
  • SAE — Undefeated since 2004.
  • SDC — Sweepstakes Disappointment Commitee.
  • Sig Ep — You can't make a comeback if you were never on top.
  • Sig Nu — This year's Nu... same old zoo.
  • Spirit — Not winning any bling this year.