Did you know?

50 Years Ago
February 7, 1956
“Mermen Took To Water Won Two and Lost One,” read a Tartan headline. Though the article was about the swim team’s latest trials and triumphs, all I can think of is, “Mer*man*, cough cough, Mer*man*!”

25 Years
February 3, 1981
CMU was lambasted in The Tartan for being a pain in the butt when you wanted to talk to someone. “Large organizations are notorious for poor communication...” The Tartan noted. I haven’t seen my editor in weeks. I’m confused and alone. And no one will talk to me. Damn the masses.

10 Years
February 5, 1996
The AP Wire reported a story that many will recognize: Man loves woman and woman loves man, but woman is having online trysts. Man finds out. Man finds a poem “sent to her [the wife] by ‘The Weasel’ on Christmas Eve.” The poem read “Twas the day before Christmas/and all did seem right/The Weasel and Diane/were planning their night.” Sometimes, the jokes come to you.

5 Years Ago
February 5, 2001
The University Board of Trustees faced some Tartan fire for meeting behind closed doors. The Tartan said that they would “conduct business that may remain secret to the community for the next 50 years.” Ooh. So when I’m, like, 70-something, I’ll care. Way to go, CMU.

1 Year Ago
February 14, 2005
“CMU representatives were notified that they had won a $26.4 million government contract to design and develop what may become the future of battlefield reconnaissance and defense,” The Tartan reported. So what you’re telling me is that you just gave me an enormous chunk of cash so I could buy a new toy? And this toy can destroy people? Oh man... all my childhood dreams come true.