Wednesday, March 1
This movie is about gay cowboys. And their wives. And you know what? Those two gay cowboys are very attractive. Attractive like Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. With their shirts off. Riding... horses. I’ll leave the decision up to you.
I Am Trying to Break Your Heart
Thursday, March 2
8, 10, 12
...but this movie is not. It’s a rockumentary about Wilco and the making of their sixth installment, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, and it is both visually pleasing and nice to listen to. If you don’t like Wilco, you won’t like this movie. While this may be the slowest movie in the lineup, it does well to cover Johnny Cash in the week of Alternative Country vs. 50 Cent.
Walk the Line
Friday, March 3
7:30, 10, 12:30
Go see this movie. It’s good. This is the story of Johnny Cash when he was younger, back when you weren’t alive. Now you can go see this movie when he’s not alive. (Sorry.) It serves as a portrait of the artist, but it only focuses on a small portion — you know, the good part, with lots of drugs and women. Not only is it an interesting movie, but it has some great acting, good music, Elvis, and drugs and women.
Saturday, March 4
8, 10, 12
I’ve always been a fan of Charlize Theron, and I mean that in a strictly “she’s gooood-lookin’!” sense. This movie is pretty boring, pretty poorly acted, and pretty incoherent. But that’s one thing going for it — it’s pretty. From Theron to the world we see in the movie, the film is nice to look at. So hey, if you’re bored and seriously deprived of æsthetic pleasure (Going to college here? Yeah right, dude!), go watch. It’s no Pirates, but hey... at least KDKA won’t be reporting on your ass this time.
Get Rich or Die Tryin'
Sunday, March 5
8, 10, 12
Be careful, there will not be metal detectors outside McConomy. I would recommend wearing your bulletproof vest. Okay, okay, but what the hell else am I going to say about this movie? It’s Fiddy. In a movie called Get Rich or Die Tryin’. You are all going to see this movie whether you like it or not. And if anyone shoots anyone else... well, it’ll be like those rides at Disney that put you in the movie’s world. Except it’ll be with guns. And death. And Fiddy Cent.