Aries (March 21 – April 19): The stars align today and the shallow caverns of your soul will flood with all of the empty promises from the days of yore.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): You think you are finally ready to comprehend, but more time will be needed to rectify the discrepancies between what is real and what is contrived.

Gemini (May 21 – June 21): Another day spent.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22): A déjà vu you will experience is not be a déjà vu at all, but rather a real event charged to cyclically occur for aye.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Distortions in the crystal will make known that which is normally outside the periphery and will contain the answer to your disputed query.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Only you hold the key to the vexation and misadventures of your neighbor.

Libra (September 23 – October 23): Your bliss will prove to be indomitable and withstand the Dionysian chaos that overwhelm others.

Scorpio (October 24 – November 21): An unlikely exhibition will subconsciously inspire a bout of exhibitionism on scale previously unmatched by any unintentional endeavor.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Today, tranquility and repose will heal the turpitude experienced and the iniquity of the transgressions.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): They will call today, and you know why. Answer carefully and deliberately.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Give credence to your wanton desires and vices.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): The town of your birth is celebrating. Make haste seek out your birthright.